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Summary:
Self-care is usually a difficult conversation in Christian circles. Is Self-care selfish? How much is too much? This episode of the Journey Together Podcast explores a biblical argument for Self-care: Mind, Body, Heart & Soul.
Podcast Transcript:
Hi friend, I’m Brigette Henry. I’m a Spiritual Formation Coach and I help women develop a deeper relationship with God. Welcome to my podcast, Journey Together, where I explore topics related to spiritual growth and formation. Today, I’m talking about Biblical Self-Care and I’m sharing the method I use to check-in with and take care of myself in a biblical way.
Introduction
Hey friend! I have missed you so much over the last month. I missed being in this space, creating content and sharing the things God has been teaching me. But I’m back now, and I have so much to tell you!
We are officially under contract to buy a house, so we’re just praying everything goes well with financing, repairs, and the title company. Hopefully we can be in our new house in the next few weeks! I am so excited to leave the chaos, but I’m also trying to be present while I’m here so I’m open to learning what God is trying to teach me before we move on to another season of life. So if you think of me, please pray for me and my little family that we transition well and we’re able to make our new home a blessing for others.
A few weeks ago, I spoke at my old MOPS group on the topic of Biblical Soul-Care. To me, Soul-Care and Self-Care are almost one and the same, because everything we do with our minds, our bodies, and our relationships affects our souls.
So today, I’m going to share that talk with you! I’ll start with the four-part model of the whole person that I learned while studying Pastoral Counseling. I’ll talk about each of the four parts and how they interact. Then I’ll give you some tips for implementing Biblical Self-Care and a journaling practice I use to check-in with myself every month to make sure I’m living a balanced life.
The Four-Part Model
The model I use is called the bio-psycho-social-spiritual model because it includes our biological, psychological, social, and spiritual health. When I first learned about it, this model was revolutionary to me. I grew up in a conservative Baptist environment, and many of the Christians around me over-spiritualized things. Very little attention was paid to the psychological, biological or social aspects of ourselves, and no connection was made between those aspects and the spiritual aspect of who we are. Everything was simply spiritual, to the extent that personal responsibility was often dismissed.
I know no one was trying to teach me that the mental, physical and relational parts of who we are don’t matter. But that was what I learned from watching the people around me. So, of course, I was shocked to discover that this four-part model doesn’t just make sense from a scientific perspective. It’s actually biblical.
To make this model easier to remember, I refer to the four parts as the Mind, Body, Heart, and Soul. These four parts make up the “Whole Person” or “Self”, and the parts interact with each other even if we never notice it. I’m going to describe each part in detail, starting with the Mind.
Mind
The “Mind” is our psychological or mental and emotional health. It includes our emotions, thought life, motivation, desire to learn, level of maturity, responsibility, and more.
The Bible has a lot to say about our mental health. For example, In Philippians 4:8, Paul tells the church at Philippi to dwell on things that are true, honorable, just, pure, lovely, commendable, morally excellent and praiseworthy.
I don’t know about you, but I constantly catch myself entertaining thoughts that do not glorify God. I’ve embraced a lot of shame about this over the years. It seems like my mind is always running away from me. One thing that’s important to remember is that a lot of our thinking is automatic. We may find thoughts popping into our head without our consent. Rather than obsessing over the thought or chasing it down a rabbit hole, we can just let it go. We get to choose how uninvited thoughts take up space in our minds.
This is actually what Paul means in 2 Corinthians 10:5 when we’re told to, “take every thought captive to obey Christ.” So, when I feel myself getting anxious or afraid, I stop, consider my thoughts, and ask myself if the thoughts I’m entertaining fit the attributes that Paul described in Philippians 4:8. And, full disclosure, I rarely get past the word “true” before deciding my thoughts are not pleasing to God.
Body
Next is the “Body”, which is our biological or physical health. It includes our sleep, eating habits, exercise and hygiene. This is the area I struggle with the most, because growing up I learned that any form of self-care for the body was vanity. Again, I don’t think that was intentional, but that was the example I saw. On the other hand, scripture gives us a broader perspective on how we should treat the body.
1 Corinthians 10:31 says, “whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do everything for the glory of God.” Everything in our lives can glorify God, even how we eat and drink! Our task is to figure out how He is asking us to care for our physical body in the many different seasons of our lives.
One passage that blows my mind is Ecclesiates 9:7. It says, “Go, eat your bread with pleasure, and drink your wine with a cheerful heart, for God has already accepted your works.” At first glance, it almost seems like God is saying, “do whatever you want! I know you’re not going to listen to me anyway!” But that’s not what it means. That word “accepted” is the Hebrew word “ratsah” which means, “take pleasure in”. God takes pleasure in our pleasure. God wants us to enjoy life. He knows there will be trials, but He didn’t leave us here to be miserable. He left us with hope and opportunities to enjoy life in ways that bring Him glory.
Heart
Then we have the Heart. The Heart represents social or relational health and it includes relationships with family, friends, coworkers and people you pass by on the street. Basically, your Heart includes anyone you interact with.
You’ve probably seen the phrase “mind, body, soul” somewhere before. It’s a common tagline for yoga studios, wellness centers and holistic doctors. That phrase emphasizes a three-part model that excludes the relational part of who we are. Now, that isn’t always a bad thing. Wellness centers aren’t usually focused on helping your relationships thrive.
But this is evidence of a deeper issue; we forget that we are social beings! Ironically, God said at the very beginning, “it is not good for man to be alone” (Genesis 2:18). God made us for relationships and we will struggle if we don’t invest in them. That looks different for everyone, but it’s still an important part of who God made us.
Soul
The last part of the four-part model is the Soul. The Soul includes our spiritual formation and our relationship with God.
I read an article a number of years ago about how nursing homes were implementing this four-part model for the care of their patients. Previously, they had relied on a three-part model of care that excluded the spiritual component. But when they adopted a four-part model, they saw amazing results. Their patients were happier, healthier and lived longer. That’s because we’re not just mental, physical and relational beings; we’re also spiritual beings.
Now, everyone has a spiritual part to themselves, and everyone is experiencing spiritual formation. But as a Christian Spiritual Formation Coach, it’s important to me that you understand that formation in any direction other than Christ is doomed to fail. You may feel happier and healthier, but it will not sustain and fulfill you. We need to make sure we are pursuing Spiritual Formation that leads us towards God.
Interaction
Now that you’re familiar with the four parts, let’s talk about how they interact with each other.
Mind
Consider how your Mind affects how you eat, sleep and care for your body. If we think we’re not worth caring for, we’re not going to care for our bodies. Or if we think we aren’t worth valuing, we won’t have healthy relationships. And if we think God has not made us worthy of love, we won’t believe He could love us, and we won’t live like we’re loved!
Body
Then there’s the Body. If we don’t eat enough, we might not think clearly or be able to communicate our needs. If we don’t move our bodies regularly, we won’t be able to run around and keep up with our kids. And if we don’t make sure we get the sleep we need, we might not have the energy to encourage others spiritually. We might not even have enough energy to read our Bibles or pray!
Heart
Next is the Heart, our relational health. It affects what we think of ourselves and others. So, if we treat others poorly, or let them treat us poorly, we may start to believe that people don’t deserve basic human kindness. Our relationships impact how we care for our bodies, too. If friends or family make you self-conscious about your weight, you will have a hard time eating or exercising around them. Or even letting them know if you’re restricting or allowing certain foods or following an exercise plan. Not being able to be completely open about yourself is a heavy burden on a relationship. Our relationships also affect what we think of God and His relationship with us. If you had a bad relationship with your father, you may struggle to understand why scripture constantly refers to God as our father.
Soul
Then we have our Soul. Our spiritual health affects what we think of mental illness or intrusive thoughts, which I described earlier. If we believe mental illness is a result of sin we will not be compassionate toward others who are experiencing mental illness. And, just to clarify, we do not experience clinical mental illness because of our sinful actions.
Our Soul also affects how we see food and the body. If we believe our bodies don’t matter, then we won’t take care of them. Scripture has a lot to say about how to treat our bodies well; they’re the vessel God has given us to do His work on Earth! Our spiritual health also impacts how we interact with others. If we believe God only loves those who are saved, we may treat unbelievers as “less than”. But, that isn’t true. John 3:16 tells us God loved the whole world. We need to be careful that the things we believe line up with the truth in God’s Word.
Tips for Implementation
Now, you might be thinking, “this sounds like a lot!”, but I don’t want you to be overwhelmed. I have five ways you can make practicing mental, physical, relational and spiritual health easy and intentional.
Tip #1 – Take advantage of the integration.
We tend to separate our life into little boxes. Don’t do that! I just talked about how the parts of this model interact. You can use that to your advantage!
For example, if you need to exercise, but you also need to watch your kids, take them on a walk. Then, you can spend quality time with them and get some exercise in. Or, if there’s a friend you’d like to spend time with, schedule a dinner together. Better yet, schedule to go out to eat with them on a night you know you won’t feel like cooking. And if you schedule the outing at a restaurant with healthy options, you’ll be positively impacting your Mind, Body, and Heart all at the same time!
It sounds basic, but that’s what integration looks like. If you’re intentional about it, you can plan to care for yourself in multiple areas at once. This way, you can care for yourself without overwhelming your schedule.
Tip #2 – Watch out for imbalance or misalignment.
One of my professors taught me that depression isn’t always caused by trauma or a chemical imbalance. Sometimes it’s the result of imbalance or misalignment between these four parts. We may experience depression because we’re neglecting our Body by not eating nutritious food. Or maybe we’re hurting our Heart because we’re not investing in healthy relationships.
The thing about Satan is that He’s tactical. He’s not going to just attack your Soul. He will attack your Mind, Body, and Heart because He understands how they affect your Soul. He will aim for whatever is weak. So be careful when you notice yourself struggling in one particular area. I’ll give you a good exercise to check-in with yourself in a minute.
Tip #3 – Train Yourself.
If you wait until you’re in a difficult situation, old habits will kick in and you might revert to poor self-care. The more you practice, the more you will automatically respond in a healthy way in unhealthy situations. So start practicing self-care before you desperately need it!
Tip #4 – Schedule what you want to accomplish.
If something is important to you, put it in your calendar and treat it like an appointment with yourself you can’t reschedule. It’s simple, but it has helped me commit to cooking, working out, and lots of other “good for me” things I like to put off.
Tip #5 – Think small changes, small habits, small commitments.
We are not aiming for perfection, we’re aiming for improvement. Something is better than nothing. Celebrate small victories and don’t make your goals so big they’re unattainable.
Go on a Me-Date
To wrap up today, I want to share my monthly practice for checking-in with myself and aligning my heart with God’s. My husband and I call it my “me-date”. Once a month, we plan a few hours where I can leave the house and he watches our daughter. Usually we do it after dinner when we don’t have anything planned. I go to a coffee shop and bring my journal, my Bible, and my planner. Then I sit down and journal through these three steps.
- I check-in with myself. I ask myself about each of the four areas: Mind, Body, Heart and Soul. I’ll ask myself: how am I doing right now? What do I need? How do each of these areas feel? I usually write about 8-10 sentences for each part, but you don’t have to stick to any rules. Just write as much or as little as you need.
- I review the previous month. I consider how I did in each of the four areas over the last month. And, if I had any goals for these areas, I review how the goals went and whether I would like to continue working on them.
- I plan the next month. I choose goals for the areas I want to work on. I write them on a sticky note and put it on my bathroom mirror so my husband sees these goals. Even though he’s never said anything about them, knowing that he knows about them holds me accountable. I also schedule things in my planner if my goals can be scheduled.
A Word of Caution
One word of caution about choosing your goals. I started with three goals in each area. That’s 12 goals in a month. Does it surprise anyone that I didn’t accomplish anything? You don’t have to have goals for each category. In February I didn’t have any Soul goals, but in March I do. Our lives ebb and flow, and sometimes we need more attention in some areas than in others. This exercise is to benefit you, so do what works for you!
Free Me-Date Worksheet
To help you out, I’ve created a “me-date worksheet” with a picture of the four-part model and journal prompts to help you check-in. You can get it at my website or follow the link in the show notes.
That’s all I have for you today, friend! Thanks for coming to hang out with me. I appreciate your prayers and I hope this idea of the four parts of the self helps you deepen your relationship with God. God is so pleased when we choose to live a life that glories Him: mind, body, heart, and soul.
If you have any questions, as always, you can email me at brigette@brigettehenry.com. Or, visit the contact page on my website. I would be happy to answer any questions you may have. I’ll see you next week as we continue this Spiritual Formation Journey Together.
Links:
Music by: Morning Garden – Acoustic Chill by Olexy on Pixabay
My website: https://brigettehenry.com
Interested in 1:1 coaching: https://brigettehenry.com/coaching
Subscribe to my weekly email: https://brigettehenry.com/subscribe
Me-Date Worksheet: https://mailchi.mp/b64bfb3c6510/5zi9keevyn
Contact me at: brigette@brigettehenry.com
All scripture is CSB (Christian Standard Bible)
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