Share Post – Follow Me
find the podcast on these major platforms
Summary
Join me as I walk through Colossians 3:18-4:18 as we finish our four-part series on Colossians and the importance of putting Christ first.
Podcast Transcript
Intro
Hi friend, I’m Brigette Henry. And you’re listening to the One Spiritual Journey podcast where I share stories from my spiritual journey and teach you how to walk closer with God on your spiritual journey. I’m so glad you’re here because that means you want a deeper relationship with God. In Colossians 1:28, Paul says,
“We proclaim Him warning and teaching everyone with all wisdom, so that we may present everyone mature in Christ.”
And that’s my goal for this ministry: to help present you mature in Christ. So, grab your coffee, or your tea if you’re a tea addict like me, and let’s dive into today’s topic.
Part Four of the Colossians Series
Welcome to Part Four of this four-part series on Colossians. We have made it to the end! If you have not listened to parts one, two and three, please go back and listen to them. There’s a lot of themes, there’s a lot of context that you’ll need to understand what we’re talking about today. Today we’re going to go through Colossians 3:18-4:18. The goal of this series, just as a reminder, is to teach you what Paul was teaching the church at Colossae: how to live a life where Christ comes first.
Overview of Colossians 3
Let’s start with a review of Colossians 3:1-17.
First, Paul refers back to the previous passage and encourages the church at Colossae to focus on eternal things and not earthly things. Then he describes the death of the Old Self, and he tells them to put away six things related to the Old Self. Then he describes the New Self, and tells them seven things to put on.
He goes on a kind of tangent after that, and he keeps listing things. He talks about love above all, unity in the church and letting peace rule in their hearts. Then, again, he talks about gratitude. There’s a lot in this letter about gratitude. He finishes this section by encouraging them to “let the word of Christ dwell richly” among them, to teach and admonish each other with wisdom, and to allow themselves to experience spontaneous moments of worship. And finally, he says to do all of these things, and everything that we do, in Christ’s name.
Colossians 3:18-19
So today we’re going to start with Colossians 3:18, and I’m just going to warn you that this podcast episode is going to start really heavy and then it’s going to get a lot lighter. So don’t let the beginning overwhelm you, don’t let the content overwhelm you. Just take a deep breath. I’m right there with you in struggling with this content.
Starting in verses 18-19, it says,
“Wives, submit yourselves to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord. Husbands, love your wives and don’t be bitter toward them.“
I am not going to give you a treatise on biblical manhood and womanhood. If I’m honest, I do not have all the answers about the roles of men and women. We’re just going to look at scripture today, and I’m going to help you understand what the text is saying, what Paul is saying. And I leave you interpretation and application of the text up to you.
Verse 18
The first sentence, verse 18 is, “wives submit yourselves to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord.” There are three things I want to point out here.
Wives to Your Husbands
Number one, it says WIVES to YOUR husbands. It does not say, “women, submit yourselves to men”, and it does not say, “wives, submit yourselves to ALL husbands”. It says, “wives, submit yourselves to YOUR husbands.” That is super important. A lot of cults and manipulative church leaders will use this passage to suggest that if you are a woman or if you are a married woman that you are to submit yourself to all men or all husbands. And that is not true. That is not what Paul is saying.
Submit
Number two, it says “submit”. Let’s talk about submission. “Submit” is the greek word hypotasso it means “to be subordinate to”, “to subject oneself” or “to submit control”. There is no question that scripture tells wives to submit to their husbands. Scripture also compares the relationship between husband and wife to the relationship between Christ and the Church.
The idea that a wife should submit to her husband is not a gray area. I think our issues comes with the definition of “submission”, and the things that we attach to the idea of submission. So, just to clarify, this does not give permission for a man to hurt or manipulate his wife. Man is commanded to love his wife, and we’re going to address that in just a minute. This is also not blind obedience. God is not asking you to submit in a situation that will hurt yourself or other people. A wife does not have to approve of her husband’s sin. That is not submission. That is blind obedience and that is not what God is calling us to.
On the other end of the spectrum, submission is also not agreeing with your husband or obeying him when it’s convenient for you or when you agree with him. Submission means letting him have the final say, even if you’re not okay with the results. There is a balance here. And, this is my opinion, I’ll just say that up front, but I believe that when we submit ourselves to Christ, the way He is asking us to submit to our husbands becomes so much more clear.
“As is Fitting in the Lord”
The third thing is this phrase: “as is fitting in the Lord”. The word “fitting” is the greek word aneko, which means “what is proper”. In other words, God sees a wife submitting to her husband as the proper thing. There’s no surprise there since scripture is very clear about the submission of a wife to her husband. But as I was researching this, I discovered this is a highly contested phrase, and you can read the Enduring Word Commentary for more information. But basically, there are three different thoughts on how we should understand this phrase, “as is fitting in the Lord.” The third camp is that God sees submission as the proper thing for a wife. And I think that is the best interpretation of the passage based on the way that we translate the word aneko and also what we see in scripture.
Verse 19
So, moving on to the second sentence, verse 19, it says, “husbands, love your wives, and don’t be bitter toward them.” I’m going to be really quick on this one since I don’t think there are many husbands listening to this podcast episode. Husbands are told to love their wives. In other parts of scripture (Ephesians 5), it says to love your wives “as Christ loved the church.” So this isn’t just being kind. This is sacrificial love we’re talking about. It also says, “don’t be bitter towards your wife.” I have heard a lot of opinions about this phrase over the years. I like David Guzik’s perspective in the Enduring Word Commentary. Just to sum it up, he basically says that even if your wife gives you a reason to be bitter, don’t be. You are called to love your wife. I think that is what Paul intended when he included that phrase “don’t be bitter”.
Ephesians 5
And just to clarify, I’m going to backtrack for a quick second as I’m recording this and realizing my mistake here. I have been referring to Ephesians 5 quite a bit here. So, when it says “husbands, love your wives as Christ loved the church,” that’s Ephesians 5. Ephesians 5 also tells wives to submit to their husbands. So, if you’re following me and you’re like, where’s the scripture in this?, I’m referring to Ephesians 5 a lot and I just keep forgetting to mention that’s where I’m getting it from.
Colossians 3:20-21
Alright, so to move on to verses 20-21 it says,
“Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord. Fathers, do not exasperate your children, so that they won’t become discouraged.”
Children
First, we have an instruction for children to obey their parents “in everything”, because it pleases the Lord. A quick clarification: it appears that Paul is referring to children who are still young and living with their parents. Not adult children who have left home. That’s an important distinction since a lot of cults and manipulative church leaders will use this verse to suggest that you must remain under your parents authority and that you must obey them even when you are married and you have children of your own. That is not what Paul is saying here.
Now, the obvious question is, “what if a parent asks their child to sin?” For example, we see things on the news about parents who force their children to steal while they distract someone at a jewelry counter and things like that. So, first I want to say, the parent is held responsible for how they lead their children to sin. Second, I believe God makes allowances for disobedience in these cases. Is God pleased with sin? No. So obedience that leads to sin will not be pleasing to Him either. So if a child were to say, “no, I’m not going to steal something,” I don’t think God is going to say, “well, that’s sin because they didn’t obey their parents.” Obedience to an earthly figure that leads to sin is not pleasing to Him.
Fathers
The second sentence says, “fathers, do not exasperate your children, so that they won’t become discouraged.” Obviously, it is not good to exasperate your children. The Enduring Word Commentary gives the examples of being too harsh, too demanding, too controlling, unforgiving, or just plain angry. Obviously, it is also not good for mothers to exasperate their children either. I’m not sure why Paul specified fathers, but it may be because God has given husbands the role of leader of the home, and so Paul might have been making a point out of that.
This is All Common Sense
In all these points about wives and husbands and children, it is so important to note that Paul doesn’t spend a lot of time on these. They are reminders. They are not necessarily meant for deep study. A lot of cults and manipulative Christians use these passages to exert control over others and to distort scripture for their own advantage. Paul does not write these things to give control over other people. He is talking about the way that God intended for us to live. And they’re just reminders to Paul.
A lot of this stuff is really common sense. Think about it: Every team needs a leader, and God has chosen the husband to be that leader. The husband should not take advantage of his position as leader. Children should obey their parents. Parents are there to protect and nurture their children. And so, children should obey their parents. And fathers and mothers should not take advantage of that situation and position and exasperate their children. This is just common sense stuff.
I think that we read too deeply into it, we get emotional about it, and we start to lose our way. But Paul is really just reminding us how God built the family to function. And how it truly and honestly functions best.
Colossians 3:22-4:1
Alright, let’s move on to Colossians 3:22-4:1. For some reason, verse one of chapter four got lumped in with chapter four, but it makes more sense with Colossians 3. Alright, let’s get through these verses. It says,
“Slaves, obey your human masters in everything. Don’t work only while being watched, as people-pleasers, but work wholeheartedly, fearing the Lord. Whatever you do, do it from the heart, as something done for the Lord and not for people, knowing that you will receive the reward of an inheritance from the Lord. You serve the Lord Christ. For the wrongdoer will be paid back for whatever wrong he has done, and there is no favoritism. Masters, deal with your slaves justly and fairly, since you know that you too have a Master in heaven.”
Slavery in the First Century
It’s really easy to pass over this passage because it talks about slaves and masters. But this applies to us more than you might think. So the word “slave” is the word doulos and it means servant, or bondservant, or slave. There’s actually a lot of arguments about how we should translate the word doulos. Slavery then was different than what we might be imagining. Slaves belonged to their masters, but they had the potential to become free, a lot of potential. Likewise, free people had the potential to be slaves. And some even chose to become slaves willingly because it could have some benefits. It could connect you with the right people and you could earn your freedom. And when you gained your freedom, you would have some pretty solid connections.
Also, if you weren’t a Roman citizen before, if you became a slave under a Roman citizen, when you were free, when you earned your freedom, you could become a Roman citizen. And so you could actually raise your status in the Roman empire by becoming a slave temporarily. That wasn’t super common because, of course, a master didn’t have to let go of their slave. So you wanted it to be someone you trusted. And masters could kill their slaves without repercussions, so it wasn’t always a safe thing to do. But there were some people who did it out of desperation to raise their social class. The FaithLife Study Bible compares slavery to simply a social class. People in the Roman empire were either slaves or they were free. And a lot of people in very normal jobs like as doctors or as engineers were actually slaves because they belonged to somebody else and did their work while being owned by someone else.
How it Applies to Us
The same way that slaves then served their masters, we also are in positions where we have a master. So we can learn from this passage! For example, when we work, we usually have a boss. Verse 22 says, “Don’t work only while being watched, as people-pleasers, but work wholeheartedly.” How many times have you worked harder while your boss was around, but not when they weren’t? Scripture tells us we should always be doing our best, even when we are not being watched. Verse 23 says we should work as if what we are doing is directly for the Lord because, ultimately, it is. He has put us here to do good works and we are responsible for how we act and work for our human masters.
Verse 25 says, “there is no favoritism.” In other words, God will hold us accountable for our wrongdoing. Even if our boss doesn’t realize that we just work hard when they’re around, God will hold us accountable for that because we have been told that we should not work only while being watched as people-pleasers, but to work whole-heartedly because ulitmately, we serve Christ. And our reward is going to be from Christ.
Masters
Colossians 4:1 talks about masters, and that applies to us too. Are you a boss? Do you have people under you? Do you lead a team at work, or even a volunteer team at church? It says to “deal with your slaves justly and fairly.” If you are in a position of leadership, you are not to take advantage of that situation. We have a perfect master in heaven that we are called to reflect, and our actions matter. We are instructed to act justly and fairly. Again, this stuff is really just common sense. Paul is just mentioning these things as a reminder, although, he did spend extra time talking about slaves and we will talk about that a little later on.
Colossians 4:2-6
So we have made it through the biggest chunk now. It’s a lot of instruction for Christian living, but there are much smoother seas ahead so hang in there with me.
Colossians 4:2-6 say,
“Devote yourselves to prayer; stay alert in it with thanksgiving. At the same time, pray also for us that God may open a door to us for the word, to speak the mystery of Christ, for which I am in chains, so that I may make it known as I should. Act wisely toward outsiders, making the most of the time. Let your speech always be gracious, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how you should answer each person.”
These are Paul’s final instructions before he says goodbye. And he gives instructions on prayer, our actions and our speech.
Prayer
So let’s talk about prayer first. There’s three things he says. First he says, devote yourselves to prayer. Paul reminds them that prayer is not something you should do in passing. You should be devoted to it.
Number two, he says “sat alert in prayer with thanksgiving.” So, continually pray, and don’t forget gratitude. Paul is still on the gratitude train.
And then number three, he says pray that God would open doors “to speak the mystery of Christ.” Paul reminds them that this mystery is so important he is in chains for it. He is willing to be in chains so that the gospel would be spread.
Actions
Then Paul gives instructions on our actions. He says, “act wisely toward outsiders, making the most of the time.” It would be unwise to participate in worldly evils and not be a witness to others of the great redemption we have in Christ. I just had a conversation with someone about how it is difficult to be among unbelievers without that bringing out the Old Self. But we are called to be a witness, to put on compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, patience, to bear with one another and forgive one another. Putting on the New Self is a witness to people outside the body of Christ. And that is what Paul is instructing us to do here. He’s reminding us that we need to act wisely towards unbelievers. And we do that by putting on the New Self.
Speech
Then Paul finally addresses our speech. He says it should “be gracious, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how you should answer each person.” So this kind of got me thinking: salt was used as a preservative and a seasoning. In Matthew 5, Christ calls us the “salt of the earth”. If we lean into the One who makes us the “salt of the earth”, we will know how we should answer others.
Colossians 4:7-17
Alright, Colossians 4:7-17. Paul really starts name-dropping here. We don’t have a lot of time left today, so I’m going to kind of fly through these, but I will describe these people and what we know about them the best I can.
vv. 7-8
“Tychicus, our dearly loved brother, faithful minister, and fellow servant in the Lord, will tell you all the news about me. I have sent him to you for this very purpose, so that you may know how we are and so that he may encourage your hearts.”
So, background. Paul was under house arrest waiting for a trial. And according to the FaithLife Study Bible, Tychicus would deliver letters to churches for Paul. Which makes sense. That’s why he says “I have sent him to you for this very purpose.” Remember, at the time, if you had a message to send, you would send a messenger. And Paul probably didn’t trust any paid messengers with his letters. And so, he sent fellow brothers and sisters in Christ so they could validate the letter for Paul.
v. 9
In verse 9 he says,
“He is coming with Onesimus, a faithful and dearly loved brother, who is one of you. They will tell you about everything here.“
So, the background on this: Onesimus was a slave of Philemon, who was a believer. Onesimus ran away from his master. Paul encouraged him to return to his master, Philemon. Some believe that Philemon actually hosted the Colossae church in his home. We don’t know why Onesimus ran away from his master, but we do know Paul encouraged them to reconcile. And many scholars believe that is the reason why that slave section of this letter was so lengthy compared to the master section or the children’s section or the wife and husband section. They believe that Paul is addressing an issue specifically with slaves who are Christians. You can read more about Philemon, his family, and Onesimus in the book of Philemon.
v. 10
In verse 10, it says,
“Aristarchus, my fellow prisoner, sends you greetings, as does Mark, Barnabas’s cousin (concerning whom you have received instructions: if he comes to you, welcome him)…”
So we have two individuals mentioned here: Aristarchus and Mark. Aristarchus was from Thessalonica and he was a missionary companion of Paul’s. You can read about that in Acts 20. It is not clear in this passage whether he is under house arrest with Paul or if he is choosing to remain with Paul. And some of the notes that I read through about Aristarchus mentioned that he always seems to be with Paul when he’s suffering. Some scholars believe that he chose to be with Paul while he was suffering. Just something to think about.
Then there’s Mark, who is the cousin of Barnabas. Alright, we gotta talk about the drama here. In Acts 13 and 15, Mark, who is also called “John Mark” and who we believe is the writer of the book of Mark, was on a missionary journey with Paul and Barnabas, his cousin, and he left partway through. Paul was really upset by this. When Paul and Barnabas went to go on another missionary journey, Barnabas wanted to bring Mark with him and Paul refused to travel with Mark. And so, Paul and Barnabas decided they would both go on a missionary journey, but they would go separately. So Barnabas took Mark with him and Paul took Silas.
In this passage, it seems that Paul and Mark have reconciled, and Paul has given instruction for Mark to be welcomed if he goes to Colossae.
v. 11
Alright, verse 11. It says,
“and so does Jesus who is called Justus. These alone of the circumcised are my coworkers for the kingdom of God, and they have been a comfort to me.“
So, Justus also sends his greetings to the church at Colossae. And that’s pretty much all that we know about him. When Paul says that “these alone of the circumcised are my coworkers for the kingdom of God,” he’s meaning that these three people were the only Jews that were helping Paul while he was under house arrest in Rome.
vv. 12-13
Verses 12-13 say,
“Epaphras, who is one of you, a servant of Christ Jesus, sends you greetings. He is always wrestling for you in his prayers, so that you can stand mature and fully assured in everything God wills. For I testify about him that he works hard for you, for those in Laodicea, and for those in Hierapolis.”
So we talked about some of these details in the first episode of this series. We heard about Epaphras back in Colossians 1:7, and it appears that Epaphras had brought the gospel to Colossae, and possibly to Hierapolis and Laodicea as well. He heard it in Ephesus and brought it Colossae, Hierapolis and Laodicea which, again, are all very close in proximity to each other.
It appears here that Epaphras was very concerned about the health of the church, and some believe that he went to Paul with his concerns about the Colossae church and that’s why we have this letter. And that would make sense. He brought them the gospel and he prays for them fervently. So when he was concerned, why wouldn’t he seek out Paul for help?
v. 14
Verse 14 says,
” Luke, the dearly loved physician, and Demas send you greetings.“
Luke is the author of Luke and Acts. And then Demas. Let’s talk about Demas. We know very little about him except that he left Paul because “he was in love with this present world.” We find that in 2 Timothy. 4:10. We don’t really know a lot about him. But we know at this point, he is with Paul. And later, when Paul wrote 2 Timothy, he is not.
vv. 15-16
Verses 15-16 say,
“Give my greetings to the brothers and sisters in Laodicea, and to Nympha and the church in her home. After this letter has been read at your gathering, have it read also in the church of the Laodiceans; and see that you also read the letter from Laodicea.”
We don’t know much about Nympha, except she hosted a church in her home, which we assume is the Laodicean church. Paul asked for this letter to be read at the Laodicean church and vice versa; for the letter that he wrote to the Laodiceans to be read at the church in Colossae. We don’t know what happened to the letter to the Laodiceans. Some people actually believe that it’s the letter to the Ephesians. I don’t know that that’s really well supported, but essentially, we don’t know what happened to that letter.
v. 17
In verse 17 it says,
“And tell Archippus, ‘Pay attention to the ministry you have received in the Lord, so that you can accomplish it.’”
We have absolutely no idea what this means. Philemon 2 lists Archippus as a member of Philemon’s household. But we are not sure what position he held in Philemon’s household. I’m just thinking, what must it have been like to get this kind of message from Paul? Nobody else got this kind of direct message of encouragement from Paul. Like, what must that have been like?
Colossians 4:18
And finally we have made it to verse 18. It says,
“I, Paul, am writing this greeting with my own hand. Remember my chains. Grace be with you.”
So this is where we get the idea that this letter was transcribed. I mentioned that in an earlier podcast episode that this letter would have been transcribed. Paul wrote this last section with his own hand, possibly to validate the letter for the church at Colossae. Paul says, “remember my chains.” Which is a really sobering comment. I think the sentence carries a lot of weight. Not only does it encourage them to pray for Paul, and to understand how important this gospel is, it’s also kind of a warning of things to come. I’m not sure Paul would have seen it that way. But knowing what we know now, we know they were about to face great persecution. And so, it is kind of a warning of things to come.
But Paul doesn’t end on that note. He ends with “grace be with you.” And I think that’s really important; that Paul says “remember my chains”, but he doesn’t leave it on that note. He says, “grace be with you.”
Outro
With that, we have finished Colossians. There is so much to unpack in this little letter. I hope you spend more time in this book on your own, and if you have any questions, please send me an email at brigette@brigettehenry.com. I would love to hear from you!
Big announcement, this is our last official podcast of 2024! I say official because I am releasing a bonus episode the day after Christmas to help guide you in choosing a Word of the Year. If you are interested, I have a Word of the Year workbook that you can get for free. So if you’re wanting to choose a Word of the Year this year, just head over to brigettehenry.com/wordoftheyear and you can download that workbook for free. I will put that link in the show notes.
I hope you have a blessed holiday season and I will see you in 2025!
Links
Things I Mentioned Today:
FREE Word of the Year Workbook: https://brigettehenry.com/wordoftheyear
Enduring Word Commentary: https://enduringword.com/
FaithLife Study Bible: https://shorturl.at/izup5
Connect With Me:
Contact me: brigette@brigettehenry.com
Follow me on Instagram: https://instagram.com/onespiritualjourney
Join my mailing list: https://brigettehenry.com/subscribe
Other Fun Links:
Visit my website: https://brigettehenry.com
Self-Care Worksheet: https://brigettehenry.com/freebies
The RENEW Study: https://brigettehenry.com/freebies
Notes:
Music by AudioCoffee via Pixabay
All scripture is CSB unless otherwise noted.
All Greek word definitions come from Strong’s Definitions. You can get access to this resource and more at blueletterbible.org.
Find the transcript for this episode at: https://brigettehenry.com/colossians-series-christianity-lived-out-colossians-4
Share Post – Follow Me
